What It Feels Like To Have ADHD In A Linear World

I stand solid, grounded, on an unmoving – yet dynamic – chunk of rock hurtling through space at a million miles per hour. Firmly rooted to an organic surface like a conscious tree, my mind is the only part of me which mirrors the dynamism of the enigmatic universe surrounding my human form. 

As I contemplate my confused existence, a ribbon of time weaves past me on its eternal pursuit to replace chaos with fragmented order, in the hope the greatest sentients will acquiesce and pack their lives into the artificial boxes of reality. 

Most of them do. Many of them shelter like hypnotised ants in a simulated version of reality they believe exists alone, chasing a pathway of linear simplicity through the omnipotent motorway of space. 

But I don’t. I stand solid as the blurred greyness of actuality bounces off my confused retinas and attempts to paint a stain on my rainbow reality. Trapped inside, helpless humans follow the passage of forged existence like twigs swept along by a nefarious current, always confused, but unable to question the spurious reality surrounding them. 

Snaking past me, the inane ribbon of linear time bends and folds its way through the undiscovered laws of physics, intangible, but fully visible on its quest to standardise time. 

Time has no meaning in this place I occupy. With a myriad mind, I weave a tapestry of circular perfection, embellished with enigmas and stitched together with the golden thread of realisation. Nothing linear matters here. Conflagrations of creativity send their multi-coloured flames into an onyx night and luminous dreams burst like fantastic fireworks against a velvety sky. 

Nothing begins and nothing ends. The hue of the universe is ever changing, like a Catherine Wheel of infinite choice, and I bathe in the warmth of awareness as the ribbon weaves past, leaving me behind to chase the greatest purpose. 

Annabel Louise – 09/09/20

Published by Chestnut ADHD

Hello, I’m Annabel and my mind is like a galaxy. Diagnosed with ADHD during lockdown, since then I have made it my mission to inspire other ADHDers to see the positives of living with a ‘galaxy brain’ and educate people about what it is like living with ADHD. I run my own tutoring and coaching business, helping many children with ADHD and dyslexia, and have always been an avid amateur writer and artist. Recently, I have written a children’s book which highlights the positives of ADHD: ‘Hadie & Adah’ and I will continue to promote my drawings and blog posts – focusing on positivity and creativity – in future. I truly am proud of my galaxy mind!

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